Never Give Up on Your dream, You will regret it

I always moved around a lot as a kid. My mother died when I was only 3 and my Dad couldn't settle anywhere it seemed. Although my childhood was filled with grief and instability, I still was able to find time to be a SUPER girly girl: even though I was raised by a father and an older brother. I can remember when I was 7 or 8, we lived in Colorado at the time on top of this beautiful mountain. (Floyd HIll pictured below, that's the house we used to live in. Don't let the beauty decieve you... A lot of sadness in that house.) ANYWAYS.... Before I get to rambling too much about my personal life.....Lets just say that I didn't get a lot of attention since the attention was mainly focused on my grieving father. So I CRAVED attention. It was at that point that I knew I wanted to be in the limelight.

Hollywood...Acting....Modeling...I KNEW that I could do it all. We continued to move around before we settled in southern Iowa during those terrible middle school years. UGH. With a new school, came new friends....but that also meant bullies. I was too busy defending my brother (who developed a stutter after Mom's death) to worry about that dream I had deep down of being in the limelight. We went through a lot together.

Life always seemed to get in the way of this dream of mine. Until I moved down to San Antonio, Texas after high school. I started pursing modeling and acting. I was told by my first manager that I had eyes that could launch a thousand ships. "Million Dollar Eyes" as they would say. Unfortunately life got in the way again and I quit....I quit it all and moved back in with my Dad. I left the modeling career down in Texas.

That was 6 1/2 years ago. I am now 27 years old. I still think about this modeling career of mine as each little line on my face from the years of fatigue, stress, and regret build up. As more time goes on, the more I feel unhappy about the decisions I have made with my life, and the career choices I thought were more "accepted" by those around me. I decided to get my bachelor's in video production thinking if I 'couldn't' be ON television, I could at least work with it. I guess over the years, I thought that I wasn't good enough to work on-screen anymore. That for some reason, I BLEW my shot. I still have to live with that as my youth comes to an end.

My First Head Shot  (2007)                                  Me Today (2014)

Everyday I think about the decision I made to move away from my modeling career. There has been some amazing things that have come from it: my fiance and my degree. But I will always think about the "would of, could of, should of."

My Fiance, Travis Gibson

If you are face-to-face with your dream.....GRAB IT. Or you will spend the rest of your life wishing you did.

Love,

Lexy

(ALL photos are by Lexy Roth) Copyrights included.