The Sedalia Snack Squad Takes On: The Philippines
Another month, another box of snacks! We're doing the good work by trying to understand the world through snacks. We do it for the children.
Today's box of international snacks for the Snack Squad to tackle today is from The Philippines. Which is probably the only country/nation/whathaveyou that is required to have a "The" beforehand. But then, it's a multiple. It's not just one Philippine. ANYWAY. Less yackin, more snackin!
Boy Bawang Barbecue Flavored Corn Nuts
Behka: This smells exactly like Corn Nuts. I'm not really getting a barbecue flavor. They are shaped like little pieces of corn, sure. They're much easier on the jaw than an american CornNut, and for that I am grateful. I like this little guy on the front, too. Who's he? What's his deal? I'M NOT EATING HIM, AM I?!
Husbando: These are very good. I like these. They're like Corn Nuts, only not as hard. That's really good. Every now and then you get one with extra barbecue on it, perfect. I'll finish eating this whole thing.
Jenn: Yummers!! They are like Corn Nuts but not evil, I still have all of my teeth! Total win, I will probably grab some when I go to the Asian market tomorrow.
Ryan: This had just a bit of a 'bite' to it. Not overpowering. Just a weird aftertaste. It'd probably make a decent travel snack.
Uishi Pillows Ube Filled Crackers.
Behka: Very purple. Prince would approve. I don't know what ube is. Should I be frightened? They smell sweet. These are surprisingly pleasant! I like ube! I still don't know what it is, but I like it! These seem like they'd be good with milk. Oh. The pamphlet says an ube is a kind of sweet yam. SO, I guess that means I like purple yams?
Husbando: Something purple. They smell good. Not bad. Pretty good. The flavor is something I can't place, though.
Jenn: I ALREADY LOVE THIS SNACK SO GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME! It’s long time the people of Sedalia recognize the deliciousness of Ube.
Ryan: It looked like purple Chex Mix, but was sweeter and much softer.
Cupp Keyk: Cheese flavor
Behka: Oh. It looks like a little cupcake. It smells like that artificial cheese that you'd have in those little plastic packets of crackers that would have a little glob in a separate compartment on the side. It.... confuses me. I don't taste much cheese. The cake itself reminds me of an unfrosted Zinger. I..... don't like that.
Husbando: Cheese and cupcakes don't go together.
Jenn: It’s a like a very soft Cheeto, just give me Cheetos.
Ryan: This tasted like a sweeter version of angel food cake, quite pleasant.
Fudgee Barr: Cake with vanilla creme filling.
Behka: Oooooh! Vanilla! I like vanilla. It looks like a Twinkie! It even has the little dots on the bottom where you know they injected the creme into the cake. Smells a little different, though. Oh. Oh, no. This... is terrible. This is making me question every decision I've ever made in my life, especially this one. I could barely choke this down. I don't know what went wrong. This should have been delicious. Cake? Check. Vanilla? Check. Creme? Check. WHO HURT YOU, FUDGEE BARR?
Husbando: That's pretty bland. Like a... reminds me of a twinkie.
Jenn: THIS SNACK WAS A LIE!!!!!!!!!! THERE WAS ZERO FUDGE IN IT! I DEMAND SNACK TRUTH!
Ryan: Fudgee Barr was right tasty! Not to sweet, not too dry. Approved!
Mr Buko: Buko Pandan chewy candy with milk filling.
Behka: Candy. I've been burned by candy in these boxes before. It's very hard. Kind of like a Starburst consistency? Green. I guess that's because of all the Buko Pandas in it? I hope they're not cute. I kind of get... coconut. That filling is NOT PLEASANT. I've drank milk my entire life, and you sir, are not milk. You are a mess.
Husbando: I don't care for that. I don't like it.
Jenn: I now trust have issues with any candy that starts with ‘Mr’.
Ryan: Mr. Buko with milk filling tasted like 3 day old Laffy Taffy left in the sun. Still not bad. :)
Mr Mais: Chewy sweet corn candy with butter filling.
Behka: What's with all the corn? There is so much corn. I was expecting more rice or something. Anyway. I'm skeptical of Mr Mais, because of how Mr Buko treated me. Moving on, trying to have an open heart. Kind of a pale yellow in color, doesn't look very appetizing. It looks like what prison food will look like in the future. You know, when we're all eating nutrition pills instead of actual food? Anyway. Mr Mais has a feel of a little bit like a Werther's. Eugh. Again, the filling is a total nightmare. It's not sweet, it's not savory, it's not spicy, there is NOTHING to be said that is good about that filling. That filling made your Mom cry. You want to slap the bejeezus out of that filling.
Husbando: That is disgusting. It's like corn taffy. I like corn and I like taffy, but not together.
Jenn: So the package says it’s a corn candy with soft butter filling. I was pretty jazzed because I consider butter to be like its own food group, but alas, it's just okay.
Ryan: Mr. Mais with butter filling was like a tough, chewy piece of butterscotch. Not recommended.
Goldilocks Pinipig Polvoron Manila Shortbread.
Behka: Lot of descriptors for such a small snack. It smells like sugar. It's a little crumbly, breaks easily. Oh, no. So dry. Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo dry. I need a gallon of hot tea or something to get through that. I can't with this.
Husbando: Crumbly shortbread. That's not bad. It's a little offputting, but not bad.
Jenn: It was crumbly, but delicious and would be good with coffee.
Ryan: It has a very grainy texture, like tiny pieces of sand. Not my favorite.
Leslie's Cheesy Corn Crunch
Behka: Oooooh, this one says it's OUTRAGEOUSLY SPICY! This is what I was afraid of. There's gonna be some kind of third degree burn involved on my tongue. They smell like Cheetos. They look like a paler version of Cheetos. Am I about to eat Cheetos that will end my life? No, actually. This is certainly not outrageous. It's not even spicy! This is the kind of spice that kids can handle. Why so much hype on your spice game?! I mean, they're tasty enough. They're just not spicy. This packaging straight up lied to me. Flamin' Hot Cheetos would crush you.
Husbando: They're like Cheetos, but taste like corn.
Jenn: Boo! Knock off Cheetos.
So, what was the final tally of Sedalia's Snack Squad Opinion?
Ryan: Overall, purple pillow stuff was the best. Mr. Mais and Goldilocks shortbread get a thumbs down.
Behka: My favorite was the Ushi Pillows. My least favorite was the Fudgee Barr. Wierdest was the Mr Mais.
Husbando: My favorite was the Baked Corn. Least favorite was Mr Mais. The weirdest one was the cheese cupcake. I'm guessing the next one is Brazil.
Jenn: Winner: The pillows. I like them a lot. Loser: Both of the Mister candies. I'm still not over it.
Well, until next month, the Sedalia Snack Squad is out. Next month's clue is:
In the Land of the Palms, they've got it all:
Jungles, and dances and lots of football.
And let's not forget all the Yums you can taste,
Sweet bread, hot peppers, and creamy nut paste!
Hmm. No idea where that is. I'm guessing somewhere in South America. What do you think? Let us know in the comments!