Changing Your Name Isn’t Easy, Married Guys

I hope you married men out there appreciate just how much WORK your wives had to do to change their names.  I'm a lazy person outside of work, so this is really seeming like a big deal to me. 

There are about seventy thousand people who have to know that you're changing your name after you get married.  I knew I'd have to do some stuff, but I guess I thought it would be more like a phone call to a government organization or something, and they'd just........pass it on?  I WAS SO NAIVE. Look at all this stuff I gotta do:

1. Get the marriage license
Before you can change your name, you need the original (or certified) marriage license with the raised seal and your new last name on it.

2. Change your Social Security card
You gotta actually visit the Social Security Administration's website and fill out the application for a new Social Security card. Then, you mail in your application to the local Social Security Administration office.

3. Change your license at the DMV
I HAVE TO GO TO THE DMV.  I'm going to have to bring every form of identification I can lay your hands on -- my old license, my certified marriage license and my new Social Security card.

4. Change your bank accounts
This one's a biggie, especially if you're setting up a joint bank account, or if you have one already set up. The fastest way to change your name at your bank is to go into a branch location -- bring your new driver's license and your marriage license. You should request new checks and debit and credit cards on top of changing the name attached to your accounts. Something to note: You might get hit with fees for requesting a new debit card.

5. Fill in the blanks
Once you have a social security card and driver's license in your married name, other changes I would hope would be pretty easy. Some places only require a phone call; others may ask for a copy of your marriage certificate or social security card. Be sure to notify:

• Employers/payroll
• Post office
• Electric and other utility companies
• Credit card companies
• Schools and alumni associations
• Landlord or mortgage company
• Insurance companies (auto, home, life)
• Doctors' offices
• Voter registration office
• Investment account providers
• Your attorney (to update legal documents, including your will)
• Passport office

WHEW.  Geez, you guys.  Can someone not do this for me?  Or would that mean they're just going to steal my identity?  There's not much worth in it to steal.  Maybe that would be easier after all.

Exhaustedly yours,
Behka