Dangit, this happens every time.  I swear, if I make a list, it just gets up and walks away.

And we even spent a good thirty minutes in the kitchen and the pantry writing that thing! This is supposed to be the stock up shopping trip, too. There's no way I'm going to remember all the crap that Husbando and the girls want. Well, you're gonna get what you get now, people.

Well, let me see if I can remember. I know we need milk, bread, eggs,.... or do we? Are we out of eggs? Is he planning on baking something? Jeez. I better call him and ask if he sees the list. Maybe he can read it to me.

No answer. Typical. Oh wait, he's probably working out with his fighting stuff in the backyard. Full Ralph Maccio mode. I do like to encourage his outdoor time. Maybe one day he'll be out there and it'll look like a Chuck Norris training montage.

Never mind, I can do this. I can DO this. Yes. Okay, so I'll just go down the aisles, and if I see something someone wants, I'll just grab it. Chips? Sure, teenagers eat chips. Sugar? I think we have some, enough for Kool Aid. Granola bars? Sure!  Pop Tarts? I shouldn't, but I know they eat those things when they don't wanna actually MAKE anything. Wait, wait. Not the brand name, we'll get the generic. It doesn't taste any different, I don't care what he says. Milk, eggs, shredded cheese... what do I need to make dinner tonight? I should just nuke some cheese dogs and tell him to be happy with it.

Wait, what is this fancy cheese? Does this come from imported albino goats? Why is it so expensive? I bet it smells like feet.

I better get some.

Okay, healthier snacks, please. Yogurt, great. Strawberries? We'll make smoothies! I better get a head of lettuce, too. We can always make salads. People like salads, right? Or at least they tolerate them. I know we have enough salad dressings to choke a horse. Not that I'd want to do that. Don't some countries eat horse meat? That doesn't seem appealing to me.

Woah, look at all the kitchen gadgets. I better truck on past these super fast, or I'll buy them all. I just don't need tiki lamps and special embroidered paper plates.

Frozen section. Okay. I'd better grab a little of everything. Pork, beef, turkey, chicken... breasts or thighs? Breasts, I guess. You know what, this time we're passing on the pizza rolls. If he doesn't like it, he can go and buy his own dang pizza rolls. Man, I am super annoyed at him for no reason. It's not his fault I forgot the list. Concentrate! Juice, sure. Juice concentrate! I'll concentrate on this juice!! Bread, got it. Wait, the sandwich bread or the fancy sourdough? Hmm. Better stick with sandwich. But I'll get wheat this time. Healthy! Right?

Oh, look at this line. Okay. It'll just take a minute. Do I have enough bags? Well, if not, I'll just buy another, but... dang. I hate having so many of these things! I wish I would just use the same bags every time. I don't need a pile on top of my fridge that gets higher and higher and gets knocked over when the cat jumps up there.

My turn! Here we go. Wow, I bought more than I thought I would. It's okay, I'm sure we'll eat it all. You know how the girls are, teenagers are ravenous at all times. Now, to bag. I have that one bag that keeps frozen stuff, right? Dangit, it's in his car. I'll just bag all the cold stuff together. Can I put the bread on top of the cold stuff? Sure, why not. Wait, what if I squish it? Better put it on top of the eggs. That's safe.

Homeward bound! Let's see how many bags I can carry in at once without dropping them. Gotta grab my purse.... no. I am such a dummy! Where is it? Did I leave it at the store? Surely not. Oh no, that was the one expensive bag I bought myself! I'll have to delete all my cards! What about my phone?! Wait, there it is. Whew, it just kinda went between the seats. Hey.. what's stuck on the side?

The list.

Shoppingly yours,

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