Okay, I'll admit it. I'm not a camper. If I'm a camper, it's because of Husbando.He is SUCH a camper. Like, he goes out there for days at a time ON PURPOSE. If I'm a camper, I'm Tom Haverford and he's Ron Swanson.

Anyway, the day is going to come when I'm going to be dragged along on one of these camping trips. And if I'm going, dagnabit, I'm not going to PAY to sit outside in nature and get bit by mosquitoes. IF I'm going, it's gonna be free, you better believe. No WAY am I paying to sleep on the ground and get no sleep so I can worry about whether or not that sound outside was a bear ready to kill me. So anyway, here are five campsites here in Missouri that you can check out for free, in no particular order.

1. Robert's Bluff, Booneville.

This site is of I-70, West of Booneville. This same exit you will find Harriman-Hill Access on the north side of I-70 and Roberts Bluff on south side. It's 2 miles off highway on well maintained gravel road. There is a boat ramp to Lamine River and a handicap accessible toilet. Roberts Bluff is open all year. There are 1-5 campsites.

2. Poague Conservation Area, Clinton.

Poague Conservation Area was previously strip mined for coal and left in its kind of messy state of steep ridges with deep strip pit water areas scattered about the area. It offers free primitive camping with no amenities provided. It's a paved road, and you can stay for about two weeks.

3. Montrose Wildlife Management, Montrose.

Looking at photos, it seems like a clean place with lots of scenery. There are two campgrounds: the smaller one is at the boat ramp. I understand from fishermen online that the fishing there is great. There are men's and women's bathrooms, inside and behind closed doors. There are fire pits, and there is lots of fire wood in the woods around. I understand that a lot of people show up during the weekend, so, if you want to get a good site, you may want to get there early. Take Hwy HH north out of Montrose, to county road 1151(it's a gravel road).

4. Stover City Park, Stover.

My Grandmother's sister, Maxine, lived in Stover for a long time. She'd always tell us we needed to come down there and camp, but my parents would inflict camping upon us rarely, and when we did we'd go to Truman Lake. But Stover has a nice campground there that's maintained by the city. They don't have any electricity, and there's a three day limit, but looks very nice.

5. Fiery Fork Conservation Area, Climax Springs.

is in Camden County, 15 miles northwest of Camdenton and 7 miles east of Climax Springs, off Highway 7. The area includes 1,606 acres of oak and hickory forest and was named after Fiery Fork Creek, which flows into the Niangau River. Hiking trails on the area vary in length and offer ideal opportunities to view wildlife in its natural setting. All boundaries of the area are marked from tree to tree with blue paint and are posted where they intersect state and county roads or private lands. Very pretty area. This would be for smaller RVs. You must travel down a gravel road about 2 miles to get here and a fairly steep hill to get to the site.

Well, I gotta admit, I'm not sure why you'd want to, but hey. If you like camping, and you like free camping, you might give one of those spots a shot. If you see me there, make me a strong drink or something. I'm gonna need it.

Campingly yours,

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