It must have been pretty embarrassing for my mom. I went through a phase, I guess you'd call it, somewhere around the age of four or five, where I repeatedly told anyone who would listen to me that I was an alien.

I couldn't sit down in the front seat because I was an alien.

I could only pick the red candies the cashier offered me at Bing's because I was an alien.

I could jump up and down on our wicker chair because I was an alien.

You get it. I don't know what it was that made me think I was somehow from another planet, but I definitely did. I was thinking about it recently and wondered if anybody else had little phases like this.  And, well, apparently there is a whole subset of humans who think this way as an adult, even.  There's a website called "How Human Are You?"

No, it's not a joke. This is a test designed to help humanity cope with a serious problem, one that is becoming more of a concern every day: On the phone, over the Internet, and even in person, are you dealing with a human, a computer, a robot, or an alien?

And are you really a human, or have you been replaced by a robot, or even by an alien, without you knowing it? Has your brain been tampered with by aliens, or maybe by secret government agencies, so that you are no longer as human as you used to be?

Just how human are you?That is the question.

It's sixty six questions, and apparently it helps you determine if you're human or if you're some kind of robot or alien.  Good? Maybe I should have taken this when I was a kid.  Anyway, I took the test, and I am apparently only 74% human.



What this test is all about (seriously): Nonhumans are likely to have great difficulty answering questions about unique human characteristics: our informality, idiosyncrasies, and individual styles, for example....most people score well under 100 percent on this test, mainly because, among our other foibles, not all of us understand the nuances of human relationships, emotions, defects, and idiosyncrasies. In that sense - if humanness sensitivity can be defined as "the ability to recognize uniquely human characteristics" - some of us are more human than others. There is good news, however: for the time being, even the least human of us is still more human than the most human computer....
Test results are being used in an ongoing study of "humanness sensitivity" being conducted by the American Institute for Behavioral Research and Technology (AIBRT) in Vista, California, USA. 

What do you think? Will you take the Human Test? What kind of stuff did you say or do that embarrassed your parents?

Alienly yours,

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