Me personally, I like self checkouts sometimes.  And I know its ridiculous, but when you're buying something embarrassing, it's just better. The thing is, though, I'm about 95% sure the cashier doesn't give a single darn about what I'm buying.  How do I know this?  When I was a cashier, I didn't.

I had two stints of cashiering jobs.  One that lasted for a summer in a grocery store, and one that ran a few years in a.... store you would not take children.  Let's just leave it at that.  And the thing is, over the course of my years there, I really didn't care what people bought.  Not one jot of concern.  It didn't matter to me.  I just wanted them to get their stuff and go.

And I have to imagine its the same way these days.  They see tons of people every day, all day long, buying whatever it is they're buying, and they're not thinking of "that guy who bought underwear" or whatever.  They're thinking about their next break, they're thinking about their feet hurting from standing all day.  They're thinking about what they're going to do when their shift is over.

I know with me, I didn't remember anybody's purchases.  I wouldn't comment on anything anybody bought unless they brought it up.  I mean, I wasn't unfriendly or whatever, but if someone's coming through the line with a whole watermelon, a bag of shredded turkey and a bottle of vodka, I'm not going to say anything. Probably just make a joke about the weather or maybe share a trivia fact about your total being the same year as something cool.

So yeah, the embarrassment isn't necessary, but it's real.  I get it.  I'm doing the same thing you are, I'm still going to take my more sensitive purchases to the self checkout.  Even though I know they don't care and aren't judging me, I'm still going to do it.

Embarrassingly yours,


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