Not every line can be poetic, even in the best songs out there. And heck, if they  left it up to me, lyrics in popular music would probably be pretty darn stupid.  What am I going to write about?  Sleepwalking?  Fighting with the cats over the water bowl? It's not exactly the same as writing about love or pain or anger or the human condition.  So yeah, I am able to cut the artists I love a little slack now and then.


Sometimes, a bad lyric just slips through and every time I hear it, I roll my eyes internally. Maybe externally, as well, if I'm feeling sassy. Anyway, I just want to make it clear, I like all these songs. I truly do.  You would definitely catch me singing along to these at any given time.  But I think you'll get what I'm throwing down here. Sometimes, a misstep was made.  Mistakes occurred.  Doesn't mean the song suffers, it just makes you go, "huh?" It means they're human, after all!  Can't be perfect all the time.  Here are the five lyrics I hate in songs I love, in no particular order.

1.  When I Get Home - The Beatles.

The Beatles are my favorite band of all time.  You know this.  But. BUT. That doesn't mean every single lyric was written in gold.

"I’m gonna love her till the cows come home"

Seriously.  Had they ever been anywhere near a farm? They lived in Liverpool. I've been there. It's a densely packed city.  You have to drive a loooong way to get to any kind of countryside there. I know they were just imitating what they'd heard in country, blues and rock music from American artists... but.  No, honey, no.  The cows do not suit you.

2.  Break My Stride - Matthew Wilder.

Great song.  Eighties classic.  It's a certified bop.  We play it on our stations sometimes, because it's one of the best.  He may not speak the language, but that doesn't excuse this lyric:

I sailed away to China
In a little row boat to find ya
And you said you had to get your laundry cleaned

Okay.  So did she have to go China to do her laundry? Or was she just in China? Or was she just so done with you that she tried to escape to China?  Either way, I've got some Tide Pods you can borrow.  Just, nope.

3.  Smells Like Teen Spirit -  Nirvana.

Admittedly, the songwriter, Kurt Cobain, did not like this song. He felt like it was a rip off of the Pixies.  In the years after it became a hit, he would pretend to forget the lyrics and the guitar solo.  He hated it that much.  And of course, it would be their biggest hit and most memorable song to most of us.  I had a big Nirvana thing in the nineties, as did most every other teenager.  But even I thought, "What?"  when it got to this line:

A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido

I know a lot of us used to debate the lyrics, back when you couldn't Google it in two seconds.  Not even that long ago, Husbando got cross with me because I said I could distinguish what he was saying. I don't know what any of that stuff has to do with anything, but it was still blaring in my cassette Walkman going home after school.

4.  Dynamite - BTS.

I know, you're shocked.  I actually put my latest favorites on this list.  Yes.  That Happened.  And I do love the song, but that doesn't mean it's perfect. Now, before I even say this, you guys have to know - they did not write this song.  It was written by a couple of British songwriters and given to their label for them to record.  Usually they write their own material and lyrics, but this time, no.  They straight up said they  just wanted to do something fun to make people smile.  And this definitely accomplishes that.... at the expense of maybe a few dumb lyrics.  It's not a deep song, it's not pretending to be, it's not trying to be.  But.. come on.  Maybe this was on the original songwriters, but...

This beat cha ching like money.

My dude. It does not.  You just wanted a word to rhyme with the other line, "life is sweet as honey", which isn't that deep but isn't bad.

5.  50 Ways To Say Goodbye - Train.

I will give them a huge benefit of the doubt because this is clearly not meant to be a super serious lyric. It's ridiculous, it's meant to be silly.  And the video makes it clear they're trying to be a little cheeky from the jump by featuring the presence of The Hoff.  But a little bit in to it, they turn away from funny or quirky and go into.. well, stupid.

Some day I'll find a love like yours (a love like yours)
She'll think I'm Superman
Not super minivan
How could you leave on Yom Kippur?

Yom Kippur?  What does the Jewish day of atonement have to do with any of this?  And I have never, in my life, compared Superman to a Minivan.  That's just me.  But it doesn't matter.  It's a fun, catchy song, and it's allowed to have a bad line or two.  It doesn't stop me from liking it.

Anyway, tell me me about the songs you love.... that maybe have a stupid line or two.  I'll jump to Youtube and listen to them!  When I'm not working, of course.

Lyrically yours,


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