Okay, so I guess I'm behind the times, because I totally missed this.I was looking over some Reddit.com posts, as I am wont to do from time to time, and decided to search for a Sub-Reddit for the Sedalia area. I thought maybe I'd find something about local events or maybe I'd find a kid looking to rake my leaves for cheap. But no, I found Dracula. Or a lady who SAID she found Dracula.

The Reddit user isn't active anymore, and the post was from three years ago (and what's three years to Dracula, anyway? Three seconds?), but it looks like it got barely noticed (I might be wrong). I looked up the name of the Reddit user on Facebook and it looks like she's alive and well and working in Kansas City. She said in her post that she was down here to interview the man with the large pumpkin - you remember the two ton pumpkin a while back. And apparently, bam, there was Dracula.... who turned out to be pretty boring, according to her.

I turned to find a plump little guy in a blue jumpsuit with ‘Dracula’ embroidered on the pocket and with an abnormally deep voice. He was bald, covered with sun freckles and wore cute little granny glasses and a hearing aid. He was carrying a glass of lemonade in each hand.

“Why don’t you come on over and have a little brunch with us and visit?” said the unlikely Dracula. “I just made brownies, and everyone makes such fuss over them.”

Although I was seriously disappointed to find Dracula acting so normally and looking like a typical grandpa, I still worried a bit about my safety. But as usual my curiosity won out over my common sense. I followed the vampire up his flower-lined sidewalk and into a crowded but immaculate living room. His other guests included a couple of the walking dead, a witch, Hannibal Lecter and the ever-devilish Willem Dafoe who tempts young men with a Mercedes-Benz and fame in TV ads.  I wish I could tell you tales of life-and-death car chases, cannibal meals, people hanging in chains. But to tell the truth, Dracula and his buds are terribly boring. All they talked about was growing tomatoes, fertilizer bombs and which sauce goes best with liver.

Okay, so what do we make of this? Am I that far out of the loop that I don't know somebody here in Sedalia who thinks they're Dracula? I mean, we DO have some characters here. I would not put it past almost any of our more... "colorful" locals to maybe think they're Dracula, or try to trick some cityfolk into thinking that they are. Or... is it the WRITER that's messing with me? She DID say that Dracula hangs out with Hannibal Lecter. I guess it's a charming enough story.... I do like that Drac is a good neighbor. If you want to read the whole tale, it's Right Here on Reddit.

Vampirely yours,

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