How To Stay Cool When Sedalia’s Summer Sizzles

Gentle Reader, I'm pretty sure I've made it clear how I feel about summertime. I hate the heat. I hate it with the burning intensity of a thousand suns. Which is fitting, because that’s basically what it feels like outside right now. If summer in Sedalia had a tagline, it would be: "Now with 40% more surface-of-the-sun energy, and 65% humidity!" 

I especially loathe the heat because of my MS. When the temperature rises, my body responds like an old computer exposed to a splash of Mountain Dew—it glitches, freezes, and absolutely refuses to cooperate. The heat doesn’t just make me uncomfortable; it can knock me down faster than a dollar flip-flop on hot asphalt.  Or make me stare into the ether and not really know what's going on.

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BUT! I’m not going down without a fight. I did some research (aka a deep dive through the internet while trying not to melt), and I found a few handy tips to avoid becoming a human puddle. You don’t have to suffer—follow these steps and stay cool like the popsicle you deserve to be:

1. Escape like a vampire.
Get out of the heat ASAP. Run, waddle, or dramatically limp into a cool space.  Or,  at least find some shade. If you're sweating in the sun wondering if you’re roasting or toasting, it’s time to move.

2. Legs up! 
Lie down and elevate those legs like you’re a starlet fainting on a chaise lounge. It helps get blood back to your heart and gives you a moment to pretend you’re in a much more glamorous situation.

3. Strip like it’s laundry day.
Tight or extra clothing? Off it goes. No one needs to see your cardigan collection in July. Bonus points if you feel like a lizard shedding its skin—you’re surviving, baby.

4. Cool it with towels or a bath.
Drape cool, damp towels on your skin or hop into a cool bath. Just... maybe let your family know so they don’t find you in the tub and think you’ve ascended to the afterlife.

5. Hydrate like your life depends on it—because it  does.
Drink water, sports drinks, maybe even something with electrolytes and a name that sounds vaguely like a sci-fi character. Skip the sugary stuff unless you want to feel like a heat-marinated jellybean.

Hopefully it won’t get that far—and you'll remember to stay in the shade, take it slow, and treat summer like that one cousin you only tolerate in small doses. I know I’ll be hiding from the heat like it owes me money. Stay cool out there, Sedalia.

Uncomfortably yours,
Behka