Why go to a jeweler or go out to dinner when you can give your loved one a Gromphadorhina portentosa?

This year, for Valentine's Day, the San Antonio Zoo says the perfect gift for your loved one is a Madagascar hissing cockroach. Well. It's probably more for someone you DON'T like all that well. Basically, the zoo is offering, for a small donation, to name a cockroach, rodent, or veggie after the person of your choice. And then that cockroach, rodent, or veggie..... will be fed to another animal in the zoo.

Did your ex-partner, boss, or bestie really make 2022 difficult? Upgrade your donation to our personalized option, and we’ll create an individualized video message of your cockroach, rodent, or veggie being fed to one of our animals for you to send to your not-so-special someone. Let’s keep it PG-13 of course!

National Geographic says that the Madagascar hissing cockroach is two to three inches long and has a life span of up to five years. It hisses by exhaling air through its breathing holes. A small colony can eat a large carrot in a single day. No word on how long it'd take them to eat that box of chocolates.

Mix 92.3 logo
Get our free mobile app

They have different levels. You can do just a small five dollar donation, or even one as high as $150. The San Antonio Zoo hosts its Cry Me a Cockroach Fundraiser, where funds raised support the zoo’s vision of securing a future for wildlife in Texas and around the world. So yeah, you're associating an ex or whoever with something gross, but for a good cause. This Valentine’s, join in the fun by donating to symbolically name a cockroach, rodent, or veggie after your not-so-special someone!

Here's the link. Behave.

Hissingly yours,

See the Must-Drive Roads in Every State

Gallery Credit: Sarah Jones

More From Mix 92.3