Telephones. They're a great invention, essential for the modern world. Now if we could just get the modern world to use them POLITELY.

I was on the phone the other day and I swear I nearly lost my sherznert over the conversation. Here's how it went:

Me:   Hello?

Them:  Who's this?

Me:  Who are you trying to reach?

Them:  Who is this? 

Me:   Who is this? 

You can see where this is going. It was a wrong number, and a RUDE one. You called me! The least you can do is identify yourself!

So since I was all annoyed, I thought I'd put out some of MY pet peeves with phone usage, and you can tell me if I'm out of my gourd.

1.  That. Identify yourself when you call someone. Don't assume they have caller ID.

2.  NOT LISTENING. I don't know how many times I've called someone and repeated myself at least three times about the purpose of my call:

Them:  Hello, thank you for calling Blah, how can I help you? 

Me:   Hello, I'm calling to book an appointment with Blah next week to help with my Blerg. 

Them:  Do you want to set up an appointment? 


3.  Mumbling, or speaking away from the phone.  As a person who has to talk for a semblance of a living, please, speak clearly. I don't know how many times I've had to ask someone to speak up because they've got me on speakerphone or they're holding the phone funny.

4.  Voicemails - leave one, and check them! It is so annoying to me when I call someone, leave a message, and they call me back twenty minutes later with no idea of what I want to talk to them about. Take thirty seconds to listen to your voicemail!! I told you what I wanted, genius! You could have had the answer ready when you called back!  And I hate being that person who has to call someone back because I have no idea what they wanted, since they left no voicemail. If you can't leave a voicemail, just send me a text about what you wanted or something. Don't leave me guessing!

5.  Getting called and immediately put on hold. This happens with medical companies a lot.  I don't understand how anybody thinks it's a good idea to call someone else and not be ready to speak with them. They call, I answer, immediate hold.  If they don't say what company they're with - and if I don't need to speak with them- they get HUNG UP ON.

What about you guys?  What kind of stuff gets your goat about the phone?  Maybe there is something to the idea of just texting all the time.

Textingly yours,

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