6 Of The Most Exciting Potholes In Sedalia

Disclaimer: I am joking.  Please do not get mad at me. 

Sometimes I drive around town on  my lunch break, trying to think of new ideas of things to write about.  Recently I've noticed that there are some exciting developments here on our roads, so let's share them!

1. Harold.

This is Harold, he's an up and comer to the pothole world. He's not very big right now, but he's building up a fan base.  He hopes to one day get your attention and make you say something other than "Dangit!".  Harold is an ambitious pothole and maybe wants a little too much in life.  He's got to get his ego in check, really.

2.  Lisa.

Lisa is an experienced, established pothole.  She knows what she's doing in her career path.  She's what you'd call the upper echelon of potholes.  While retirement may be on the horizon for some of her contemporaries, Lisa plans to keep interacting with Sedalians for many years in the future.  Her favorite moments in the day are early mornings, she loves to watch the sun rise.

3.  King Richard The Magnificent.

Technically King Richard is two potholes in one, but he doesn't identify as binary and I support him in that.  King Richard has been around a long time, and he's kind of tired - although he knows that he isn't going anywhere.  He feels a lot of responsibility to his pothole kingdom, but overtaxes the middle class.  He's confused about his role in pothole history.  In the grand scheme of things, Richard knows he's on the list somewhere, but where?  Will he be remembered as one of the greatest potholes of all time?  Will he be forgotten and lost in Sedalia lore?

4.  Terry.

Terry is angry.  Terry doesn't care about what you think, Terry wants to Take You Down. Terry had a very troubled upbringing, so don't bring it up (sorry, sorry).  Terry hates you, Terry hates your tires, Terry hates your family, Terry hates your dog, Terry hates your taste in music, and Terry especially hates pineapple on pizza.  So you can tell Terry is a bit of a character.

5.  Crater.

Crater is a simple creature.  Crater didn't get past the first grade equivalent of pothole school.  Crater was never interested in anything other than being as large as possible, so he worked out. You can tell it's paying off.  He might be a little too invested in his size, though. You know those people who find a way to bring up their latest workout in every conversation, or try to get you to buy Thrive or something every five minutes?  That's Crater's deal.  He's single minded, I guess.  He has dedication to his craft.

6.  Imogen Cordelia.

Imogen Cordelia loves life.  She loves the many people she encounters every day and thrives on the attention she gets.  She seems a little lonely, kind of like Miss Lonelyhearts from Rear Window.  The main difference is Imogen Cordelia is a pothole, not a fictional character in an old movie. That doesn't stop her from trying to embrace your car in her welcoming abyss every time you see her. It hurts her feelings a little if you ignore her, but she tries to keep it to herself.

Okay, admittedly that was weird.  But I'm weird, what can I say.  Do you have any big or troublesome potholes in your neighborhood? At your workplace?  Let's see em!

Pavingly yours,

Behka