I'm going to start by saying that I know I'm probably not going to get these things back. I know that.  But I just wanted to express where I'm coming from, and if these things stay gone, they stay gone. I get that admitting to mistakes and rectifying the situation might be complicated. It sucks that I have to get more cameras around my property to prevent this in the future (this isn't a bad neighborhood, after all), but.  It is what it is.

Dear Handsy,

Hi.  I'm the person you stole from.  I don't want to be mean, but let's be real. That's what you did.  You took this from my porch recently.


Yeah, it's cool, I get it.  You saw it, you wanted it, you took it.  You also took my electric bug zapper, though, which I kind of don't get because first of all it's February, there are no bugs, and secondly... it requires charging for it to work. I have the charger.  So... yeah.  Have a good time with a dead bug zapper. That I hadn't cleaned.  That probably still has dead bug guts in it.

Look, I get that this is just a windchime.  It's a cool, solar powered one that lights up at night and changes colors but... it is just a windchime.  But here's my point. It was mine.  You saw it, you wanted it, you took it.  You felt entitled enough to come onto my property and you took something that wasn't yours.  I know it's not a big enough deal to make it into the news (it's not like you're going to get any resale out of it, it was maybe twenty bucks.  So good luck if you were trying to resell it for drugs or something cool.  That's not gonna work). But. it wasn't yours.  It was gift to me from my Father.  He gave it to me last year. Last March, actually.  And it was wrong of you to take something that wasn't yours.  I hope you know that, and I hope that you feel good about that.  I hope every time you look at it, you look and think that you walked onto someone else's porch, took a gift given with love that did not belong to you, and decided that your wants were more important than being a good person.

If you're a parent, and your kid shows up at home and says they got this from a friend or at school or at the Dollar Store or something... please be skeptical. Especially because it's been on my porch getting rained and snowed on for a year, so that means they brought it home dirty and without a box.  This was ordered online, you can't get it for five bucks on the fly at the corner store.  If it's on your porch now or in your kid's room, I hope you'll have a real, honest conversation with them about where they got it and how.  You'll have to deal with it how you see fit, and you'll have to deal with the fact that your kid is starting to become a thief.  Not a huge thief, and I know that sounds harsh, but it's still the truth.  And that might not lead to it coming back to me, I get that.  But please think about what your kid is out there doing, and what choices they're making while they're out.  Because if it starts with something small like this.... it could easily escalate into something more serious.  The more they get away with taking things that aren't theirs... the more they'll do it.  If there are no consequences at home, eventually there will be consequences with the law when they take something of higher value that can be traced back to them.  And you didn't raise them that way, right?  You know you don't want your kid to be someone who just steals for fun. Even if it is just kids being kids.... that's still just not right.

So, Handsy, I hope you'll have a change of heart. I know that's extremely unlikely (probably impossible) but, I hope you do.  I hope you come to the conclusion that taking something that didn't belong to you is wrong and you want to make it right.

And if nothing else, you've taught me to get more cameras. We have them around in the back, but... now I guess we'll get them in the front.  Because we just can't trust people walking around in Sedalia anymore. Not like we used to.  Now if you or your parents or your roommates or whoever want you to return it, that's okay with me.  You can just leave it on the chairs on the porch. I won't ask questions, I won't call anybody, I won't use this platform to expose you.  Hopefully it just be a lesson learned and we can all move on.

Chimelessly yours,

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